In the mid 90’s, I was part of the American ROTC  (military) program when the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy was introduced. Though the policy’s specifics are better left to historians, what stays with me is the feeling it created—a silent, heavy expectation that some truths were better hidden, that some conversations were too dangerous to have. This feeling, buried in memory, resurfaced recently in a surprising context: Artificial Intelligence (AI).

Recognizing a feeling like this is not always immediate. It’s subtle, often emerging in situations that feel unexpectedly familiar. Conversations about AI—especially Generative AI (GenAI)—in professional spaces can carry a similar charge. You sense the tension: Who here uses AI? Who is staunchly against it? Is this a safe space to admit I use AI tools for efficiency, brainstorming, or teaching? Like in the past, the silence can be deafening, and the fear of judgment looms large.

Why does GenAI evoke such strong reactions? Like “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the resistance often stems from fear—fear of change, fear of misuse, and fear of the unknown. Professionals may worry that using AI could be perceived as a shortcut, a cheat, or even unethical. This unease fosters an environment where people avoid discussions altogether, choosing silence over potential scrutiny. However, much like other advancements in history, the use of GenAI is not inherently good or bad. It’s a tool, one that can amplify human creativity and productivity when used thoughtfully.

To move forward, we need to break this cycle of silence. Conversations about GenAI should be open and grounded in curiosity rather than fear. Colleagues can create safe spaces by asking thoughtful, nonjudgmental questions: “Have you tried using GenAI tools? How do you think they might fit into our workflows?” or “What are your concerns about AI, and how can we address them together?” These conversations should invite exploration, not condemnation.

The key is using language that builds bridges. Instead of positioning AI as a divisive “for-or-against” issue, frame it as an opportunity: “How might this tool help us?” By normalizing conversations about AI—even small, informal ones—we dismantle the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” dynamic and pave the way for more informed, inclusive decisions.

The next time you’re in a meeting or casual workplace conversation, consider gently bringing up GenAI. Use open-ended, empathetic questions to signal curiosity and respect. In doing so, you’ll help create the kind of safe, innovative space where ideas—AI-related or not—can thrive.